“All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.“ - Blaise Pascal
“All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.“
Blaise Pascal
I stumbled across this quote early on in this season of distancing and isolation but decided, unsuccessfully, to ignore it. Pascal’s words have kept coming back in to my mind, again and again. Especially when I am left with no other option but to sit in a quiet room alone…
Being in ‘lockdown’ has been a challenge for many of us. Different things have been difficult for different people. Certainly for some, serious illness has been part of this season. For others, life has sped up, stress and anxiety have increased. And for many of us, even in the midst of the stress, life has also slowed down.
As the new reality of social distancing first dawned, I read a few ‘fun’ articles on how ‘introverts have been preparing for this their whole lives (!)’ and the need for introverts to ‘look out for their extrovert friends - they’re not OK!’ Very funny…
Faced with the reality of not being able to get together for a drink with friends, not being able to spend time with other families, not being able to meet face-to-face with work colleagues and clients, plus the likelihood of this new reality continuing indefinitely, I was miserable, and fully expecting stay that way for months as the Tasmanian winter drew closer.
“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.”
I am a coach. I make my living by listening, by asking questions, by helping leaders to reflect on their challenges and their strengths, and to make plans and get themselves unstuck and moving and growing and thriving. On the whole, I think I do a reasonable job. With other people.
But what about when I am stuck? What about when I can’t see a clear path forward? What about when I’m feeling discouraged and miserable and stuck. And I was.
For the last few weeks, I have been turning my coaching skills onto myself. I have been asking myself questions that challenge my perspectives, and get me thinking and reflecting, and growing and changing. I’ve been asking questions like:
How have other people persevered and thrived through situations much worse than these?
What opportunities are there in the midst of this crisis?
What if it is important for my soul to be able to sit quietly in a room alone?
What if the seemingly unending vista of days, weeks, months of isolation and quietness are actually an opportunity to grow? To learn? To experiment and see what happens?
I’ve been listening to my own thoughts. I’ve been noticing my own emotions. I’ve been experimenting with embracing the slower, quieter, more isolated life that many of us find ourselves in at present. I’m discovering that there is actually a lot to like about being quiet and alone. Slowing down, it turns out, has its upsides.
I’ve been reflecting, reading, and journaling along the way. I’m also discovering there really is a lot to learn about being quiet, being still, slowing down. And it turns out it’s a fair bit easier to learn and grow when I am taking my time, not rushing around - sitting alone in a quiet room.
As any decent coach will tell you, where there are lessons to be learned, there are also steps to be taken, responses to be practised, changes to be made. Information by itself is not enough. Transformation is the true goal.
One of my responses is to write what I am learning. I’ve been journaling for myself, and I’m choosing to share some of my writings and reflections with you.
Why?
Well, firstly because I suspect I’m not the only person currently struggling to sit ‘quietly in a room alone’. I feel like I’m making some headway here, and if I can help you make some too that would be wonderful.
Secondly, because as all good coaches will tell you, it’s harder to neglect your best laid plans if you tell them to other people, if you choose to make yourself accountable. Feel free to comment and reply, and check how I’m going.
And thirdly… if I’m honest… getting to tell someone about my thoughts, my learnings, my feelings and my plans does make sitting in a quiet room alone that bit more bearable.
For reflection:
How have you and /or others persevered and thrived through difficult situations and crises before?
What opportunities are there for you in the midst of this challenging season?
What if it is important for your soul to be able to sit quietly in a room alone?
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