On (not) being in control

Over the course of multiple coaching conversations with leaders in the last few weeks, I have noticed a pattern - one which I see popping up in my own life as well.

I was reminded of a model last week, adapted from Stephen Covey's 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' which I found helpful.

 
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Covey suggests there are two 'circles' in our lives - the circle of concern, and the circle of influence.

The circle of concern encompasses ALL the things we are concerned about - perhaps worried about. Right now, for many leaders, that is a long list.

Within the circle of concern is the circle of influence. The circle of influence encompasses all the things we are concerned about and we can do something about. Key difference.

A number of other writers have added a third circle, within the circle of influence - the circle of control. Even within the circle of things we can influence, there are some things which we can not just influence but control.

The principle underlying these three circles is this: prioritise that which is in your circle of control, then your circle of influence, and lastly, your wider circle of concern.

The pattern I have noticed, in myself and in other leaders, is this: In a crisis it is easy to get these priorities back to front. It is easy to be preoccupied and overwhelmed by the many things I am concerned about, but have next to no influence or control over. And so I am greatly inhibited from acting and leading within the areas I do have control over, and influence over.

It's worth reflecting on.

What are the areas which you do have control over? What are the areas which you do have influence on? What are the areas within which you have no influence or control?

Where are you spending most of your time?


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